You know that feeling you get?
When you're sitting at a table, with a bunch of people.
Nobody is talking. The only thing you can hear is the sound of cutlery scraping against a plate. Or pages being turned.
Nervous glances are being exchanged here and there.
And inside your head, there's a little voice, screaming
"Awkward Silence! Awkward Silence."
Yes, I've been in a situation like that.
It was not pleasant. But as I remember it, it seems a little amusing.
It is a Friday today.
You probably know this. It is not like we live somewhere with no sense of time for example. We don't have to look at the moon, or the sun, to tell what day it is.
Gosh, that would be odd though, wouldn't it?
It would be different though.
Very different.
Something which bothers me is.. pressure.
People telling me over and over and over again to do the same thing.
They've said it about 500 times by the time, that I decide to do what they say.
If I actually decide to do what they say.
Of course, I don't actually tell them, how annoyed they've made me feel.
I have a friend, that tells me that I shouldn't keep everything bunched up inside me.
I should tell people how I feel.
But I can't.
It is like I am a bubbling cauldron, that keeps bubbling, or like a volcano, that doesn't explode.
Odd thought that is.
It is just a part of my character.
I woke up this morning, with this gut feeling that something was wrong.
Nothing was actually wrong, as I stepped into the kitchen though.
My feet felt cold against the tiles.
I flicked the kettle on.
My cat was on the sofa, soundly asleep, and the radio was playing gently.
Switch it off. Wait, who had switched it on in the first place?
I looked at the dirty plates in the sink, from last night's Italian meal.
I invited some friends over, my sister was happier.
I'm happy she was happy.
Moving on.
I feel like a picnic.
I remember when I was around 6 or 7, the whole Hayes clan, meaning my parents, my sister&my brother, my grandparents and my cousins would all set off to Brighton when the weather was good.
We'd make jam sandwiches, and lemonade, and sit in the sand, carelessly, watching the sea gulls soar over us.
I wish I could go for a picnic now.
Actually I want to go to a poppy field, and take photos.
My camera is charging at the mo.
And as I look around me, I see no poppy field.
I see a table, and a tv, which is switched off, and my new painting :).
It was on sale, and I had to buy it.
Although carrying it home, on foot, was a little tricky. I worked it out though.
I just can't wait till the summer comes round, and I leave the city bustle.
To just sit in that room, with the salty air tangling my hair is simply heaven.
It is peaceful.
Until the whole Hayes clan arrives. But I love them.
I finished off printing my essays today.
As I look at them, I feel relieved that I actually got them done.
4,067 words on fours sheets of paper.
Now, that is a huge babble.
It is.
Can I ask you a question?
This maybe happens to some of you?
What happens with my cloud brain, is that when I'm not thinking of something in particular, and everything is silent around me, a song suddenly pops into my head.
Any song, and the lyrics are running through me, from ear to ear.
I really want to learn the electric guitar.
I realize how I want to do a lot of things actually.
I need to do something.
I'm bored.
What could I do?
I could make a smoothie.
I could hoover the floor. Wow. Great fun.
Or, I could finish off my art assignment.
Yes, better get that done.
I shall.
You know, yesterday, I decided to search my name on Google.
Actually, I'm not always called Victoria.
My friends tend to call me shorter versions.
Personally I prefer Vicki.
If course, I tend to be called Vii by certain significant others.
I sometimes am called biscuitto by my Italian friend.
Oh, they know who they are.
I don't understand why I'm called a biscuit, but anyway.
But you can call me Victoria, Vicki or Viii. I don't mind. They're all me :)
Oh, the world is being the Mad Hatter as usual.
Am I in the rabbit hole. No?
No.
No.
I found my way out of the rabbit hole.
That sounds odd.
I am now in the mood for reading.
I need to finish that book, and to paint a blank canvas.
I'm guessing I'll be splattered in paint by the end of this.
Oh well :)
I'll posting later.
In the meantime, have a wonderful morning :D
The babbling,
Victoria
Vicki
Vii
biscuitto :)
xxx
p.s. The picture is of my mirror, which adorns my hallway. Tell me what you think. I found it last year in an outdoor market. I love it. :)
6 comments:
I love the mirror! (the bit i can see anyway). I like how you project exactly how your mind is trailing through all different subjects into your blog.
Am I the italian one? :P but i call u bichito, not biscotto...
Anywayz, lovely post as always. I can see the you are slightly more serene which makes me feel better :) ill see u in exatcly 4 days UNLESS you decide to call me an organize something *nudge nudge wink wink*
xxx Mukuuuuu
Am I the italian one? :P but i call u bichito, not biscotto...
Anywayz, lovely post as always. I can see the you are slightly more serene which makes me feel better :) ill see u in exatcly 4 days UNLESS you decide to call me an organize something *nudge nudge wink wink*
xxx Mukuuuuu
Thanks Ms B!
Your blog is great too :)
Thanks again
Vi :)
To Anonymous:
I guess you are the italian one, miss Anonymous.
Anyway, its not my fault that my cloud brain does not spell italian properly.
i am still a biscuit :)a salad eating biscuit
Vii :)
Love your blog!! Silence makes me nervous as well!
Hm hm.. that's very interessting but actually i have a hard time visualizing it... wonder what others have to say..
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